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Three Sides to Every Story
}} Heimdall and Loki argue the pros and cons of destroying the world. Roy presents his side of the argument as well. Cast * Roy Greenhilt ◀ ▶ * Vaarsuvius ◀ ▶ * Mr. Scruffy ◀ ▶ * Hinjo ◀ * Celia ◀ * Lord Shojo ◀ * High Priests of the Asgardian Pantheon: ** High Priestess of Odin (also possessed) ◀ ▶ ** High Priestess of Freya ◀ ▶ ** High Priestess of Sif ◀ ▶ ** High Priestess Rubyrock ◀ ▶ ** High Priestess of Frigg ▶ ** High Priest of Mani ◀ ▶ ** High Priestess of Hoder ◀ ▶ ** High Priest of Balder ▶ ** High Priest of Heimdall ◀ ▶ ** High Priest of Loki ◀ ▶ * Phil Rodriguez ◀ * Bodyguards: ** Wrecan ◀ ▶ ** Bodyguard with Kilt ◀ ▶ ** Bodyguard with Side Shave ▶ ** Bodyguard Dwarf ◀ ▶ ** Bodyguard Half-Orc ▶ ** Bodyguard with Knight Helmet ▶ ** Bodyguard with Ponytail ▶ ** Bodyguard with Viking Helmet ▶ * Gods of the Northern Pantheon ** Loki (as proxy) ◀ ▶ ** Odin ◀ ▶ ** Heimdall (as proxy) ▶ * Representative of the Southern Pantheon ◀ ▶ Transcript Bodyguard Half-Orc: What did she say? Bodyguard with Knight Helmet: Destroy the world? Why?? Bodyguard with Side Shave: Maybe she just means it figuratively? Wrecan: I don't understand. This... doesn't make sense. Roy: No, no, no, NO! Roy: They can't there's still one gate left! Wrecan: What are you talking about? Roy: It's—''ugh!'' It's complicated! Roy: But the Really Bad Thing my team is trying to stop is so really bad that the gods are considering wiping out the world just to be sure. Wrecan: Wait, so—the end of the world? That's not a euphemism, they're talking about the literal end of the world?!? Wrecan: They can't end the world right now, my wife and kids are on the other side of it! Flashback to Lord Shojo telling the Order of the Stick and Celia the story of the Snarl. Roy (inset): Lord Shojo told Vaarsuvius that Soon's team was worried about the gods deciding to take matters into their own hands like this. Roy (inset): And that was before one of the rifts was blotting out the sun in a major metropolitan area. Roy: But I just... I thought we had at least until all five rifts were exposed. Roy: I didn't thinkg they'd ever consider— Wrecan: So you know about all this? You knew this was a possibility and you didn't say anything?! Roy: You're right. I should've knocked on your door and told you that the world might be ending soon-ish. Roy: Maybe I could've gotten one of those fashionable, "The End is Nigh," placards. Roy: Now focus, Wrecan: Did Veldrina know this was on the agenda? Wrecan: No, I'm sure of it. That elf has never had a thought that she didn't immediately articulate. Wrecan: I can't believe the gods want to kill us all. Roy: They probably don't. At least, not all of them. If they all wanted to kill us, they wouldn't need to vote on it. Bodyguard with Side Shave: Except... how would they know they all wanted to kill us all until they had a vote? Roy: You are not being helpful. High Priestess of Odin: And now, the statements. For the affirmative, Heimdall. For the negative, Loki. High Priest of Heimdall & High Priest of Loki: Summon Proxy! Heimdall: My fellow deities, we must protect ourselves from the danger of which we dare not speak. Heimdall: Many of us voted to spare this world when these rifts first appeared. Heimdall: But here we are, scant decades later, and the plan to let the mortals patch this on their own has failed. Heimdall: Yes, it is unfortunate that our followers' corporeal bodies will perish when we tear this world down and build a new one— Heimdall: —but their souls will pass on to our respective realms as normal. Heimdall: It is the only safe and reasonable option. Thank you. Loki: Gosh, I didn't know our divine energy color was yellow because we were a bunch of cowards. Loki: Look, if that last rift is opened, there will still be, like, ten to fifteen minutes before You-Know-Who gets out, right? Loki: More than enough time to pull the plug, if we all agree on that course of action today. Loki: Sure, OK, it'd be easy for us to whip up another batch of people and start over. And sure, it'd be kinda fun to try something different. Loki: But come on! We've had some good times with this world, haven't we? Let's give these entertaining little buggers one more chance to clean up this mess before we do it for them. Loki: In summary: Vote Loki 2016. Wrecan: That was not the stirring defense of the sanctity of life I'd been hoping for. We're doomed. Roy: I'm one of those buggers trying to clean it up, and I'm still wondering if maybe Keimdall has a point. Roy: But I can't let that be the last word. Roy: No one is more wrapped up in this thing than we are; I have to try. Roy: Excuse me! High Priests of the Northern Gods? Roy: I have a statement I'd like to make to, you know, the Northern Gods. Wrecan: What are you doing? You're going to get us kicked out! Roy: And if they decide to destroy the world, that will matter... how, exactly? Wrecan: ...Yeah, OK, good point. Wrecan: Just try to keep it quick so they don't get too mad. Roy: I'm Roy Greenhilt, and I'm an adventurer who has been fighting this rift thing. Roy: Also, just a generally big fan of the world, for what it's worth Roy: What I'm not is a god, or a cleric, or even particularly religious. Pretty much at all. Roy: So I don't pretend to know what value each of you places on us down here. Roy: But from the sound of it, whether you destroy the world today or five minutes after someone breaks the fifth Gate, you get pretty much the same result— Roy: —a new planet full of new worshippers. Roy: As I see it, therefore, you don't really have much at stake here. Roy: We do. Roy: Our lives may be insignificant to you, but they have all the meaning in the world to us. Roy: And I've been dead before, too—and for all the comforts of the afterlife, I'm in no hurry to trade this existence for that one. Roy: Please—let those of us who have the most to lose try to fix this one more time. Roy: Give me and my friends the time we need to earn the continued lives of everyone. Roy: Though frankly, if you really want to nip this in the bud, order your priests here to join me on a little field trip to squash this lich I know. Roy: This whole thing will be over by lunch tomorrow and we can work on resealing the rifts at our leisure. Roy: OK, that's... That's it, I guess. Thank you for listening. High Priestess of Sif: What a moving speech. High Priest of Balder: I don't have the heart to tell him the gods can only hear each other. High Priestess of Odin: LET THE VOTING COMMENCE! Trivia * Roy makes a reference to an exchange between Shojo and Vaarsuvius in Comic #276, "The Crayons of Time: The Order of the Scribble". The flashback scene refers back to some point between Comics #272 and #278. * In the flashback scene, Celia is wearing her hair in a braid. But during the trial she wore her hair down. She did not appear with braided hair until Haley did it for her in #601. * This is the final appearance thus far of Lord Hinjo, ruler of the Azurites in exile as well as commander of the Sapphire Guard. Hinjo is the nephew of the previous lord, Shojo. Hinjo fought his way out of Azure City after leading the army during the Battle of Azure City. He took Elan, Durkon, and Vaarsuvius aboard his junk and they adventured together with the refugees of Azure City. Hinjo remains aware of the events and has sent his last remaining paladins north to Kraagor's Gate, while he establishes a new colony for the Azurites on an island off the coast of the Western Continent. He has appeared in seventy-eight strips, first appearing in #265, "A Tale of Two Paladins". * This is the final appearance to date of Celia, sylph, law student, one-time employee of Dorukan, and girlfriend of Roy. Celia met the party as the defender of the Air Sigil in the Dungeon of Dorukan. She was called upon to defend them at their trial before the Sapphire Guard, after which she and Roy fell in love. She convinced Haley to leave Azure City and helped her defeat the Greysky City Thieves' Guild. She appeared in seventy-five strips so far, making her first appearance in #53, "See, They're Flying, Because It's an Air Sigil". * This is the latest appearance of Lord Shojo, ruler of Azure City and commander of the Sapphire Guard prior to his death at the hands of Miko Miyazaki. Shojo convinced Roy to investigate the other Gates, having rigged the trial of the Order just to bring them before him to make this plea. His cat, Mr. Scruffy, was adopted by Belkar. He has appeared in thirty-seven strips. He died in #407 but has still managed to appear in eleven strips since then. He first appeared at the end of the the first book in #120, "The End of the Beginning". * This is the latest appearance of Phil Rodriguez, the junior partner of the Lawyers. Whenever Mr. Jones loses a case, Mr. Rodriguez is the lawyer of record so Mr. Jones can keep his perfect litigation record. Phil has appeared in fifteen strips, first appearing in #32. * The High Priest of Heimdall being a bearded black man may be a reference to the Marvel Cinematic Universe's Heimdall. * In the book version of the comic, Loki says "Vote Loki 2020" External links * 998}} View the comic * 433947}} View the discussion thread Category:Uses Summon Proxy Category:Godsmoot